12 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Rock Climber
I KNOW. He’s got this strong yet chill aura you can’t certainly identify. He’s got a well-kept and toned upper body and he can be a real hottie, with his broad and slightly hunched shoulders, and pumped forearms, you’d probably guess that this man is a certified fitness gym junkie. Then he walks into the crowd wearing his boyish smile, nope he doesn’t really stand out, but there’s just something in this guy you just can’t figure out. Cringe now ladies, what you’re seeing is a rock star! Hold up your walls higher and your heart even tighter. Take it from me. This guy who climbs wall will break through your own walls, steal your heart, and turn you into the person you never thought you could ever be.
Photo Credit: Nick Aguilos of Lime Climbing
1. He’s an eye-candy to many.
Okay. We’re talking about this already uber-lean and fit dude, and have you actually seen him at the climbing gym finishing a difficult route in just a snap? Flexing his shoulder, biceps, and lats? Uhuh, hold it, because this scene will make you swoon. You’d really wonder, is he some kind of a superman? This dude is so strong; that it will blow up not only your mind but other ladies’ too, and it will melt not only your heart but other ladies’ too.
If he’s good enough, then his eyes will all be on you, but you gotta be aware that there will be many lurkers behind you, ready to snatch this good catch away from you!
2. You will never get soft touches from this dude
It’s not that he isn’t into cuddling and caressing, for all you know this guy can do the most romantic thing. But his hands will never be fleecy like those boys you see in the movie. He got the most impossible callous hands, which he had from all the rocks and route he bouldered and climbed. But don’t you bother to give him a hand cream, as he really needs the callous in his life as a climber, according to him it makes the climbing way better.
You’ll see, he’s got the roughest palms, gnarly-looking hands, and twisted knuckles – but you will learn to love all of them in time. And if you get used to it, holding hands will never feel better, unless it is with the rough yet warm hands of a climber.
3. You would seldom see him neatly dress up
If you like your dude all neat and tied up all the time, well you probably won’t get that treat from this man. Unless he needs to wear a tux and tie during office hours, the plainest tees or a climbing shirt from his favorite brand will always be fine. He can carry it so well at all times, even if you’d invite him to a fancy dine. You’d also see that his climbing pants is the most handy he’s ever got. It has served him more than its purpose, he pulls off them so well, you’d probably think he’s doing it to charm you in purpose. Then you’d realize that in any clothes and style, this guy is a natural charmer; you’d see him sweaty and untidy yet he’s still looking like a hottie. Is it some sort of sorcery?
4. Expect climbing gym and crag dates.
Welcome to the climbing world, sweetie! More often than not, he’s going to make you try it so you can feel the climbing sweat, or you sooner will want to actually try it yourself, that I bet. Either of these two, expect that climbing dates will always be part of the woo. Now you will see, suddenly, your idea of cozy dating will now include moments of belaying; slack, take, and tension will be your new endearments in between. Give yourself some more time, and you would eventually learn how to speak using climbing terms.
5. His definition of holidays is way different from your holidays
It’s the truth. Months, weeks, or even a day off is a holiday that is and will always be synonymous to climbing. The lax beach vacation you’ve been anticipating? Set your expectations right, for it might fail darling. Because what he has in mind are the crags that all these months he’s been wanting to scale. An ideal holiday for this manwould be in a far far away land with amazing crags, and cold beers on hand.
You gotta always ask for his plan, no not the plan he got with you, but his ‘own’ own plan. Just so you would know what to do.
6. Unlike what a man usually promises, he won’t be always there for you.
He will explore crags and climb rocks. He’ll be away for days, and he will go to places where there are huge walls and rocks. He might take you with him or he might do it with his team. Either way, there will be many times when you will miss him.
Climbing is life, darling!
7. He can be very competitive!
Yes! And sometimes it’s can be utterly annoying! He’s very persistent and determine as he works on a new project – nope, this is not a work kind of project. This is his current 7a route that he’s been working on for weeks. He won’t stop until he gets his way up. He would even add up the number of days that he has to go up on that wall. He would be willing to struggle, and even to fall. Until he proves to himself that he can surpass the crux, and that he can finish that damn hard route after all.
Yes. This means weekends or offs are spent in front of the climbing walls. Not to mention if he’s been doing some secret training!
8. He’s obsessed with problems.
But not the kind of problem which you would want to put a fight with. Yes darling, I’m still talking about routes. After successfully completing the month-long project or even during his struggle, perhaps you didn’t notice that he was already eyeing the beta on that new route he wants next to finish.
9. He can be frugal, because when he splurges, he splurges a lot – but not on you.
It’s not as if he won’t offer to pay the bills on your date or buy you fancy gifts, for all you know he is the most generous man you would ever meet. But don’t be too surprised if he can splurge hundreds of dollar for his new rock shoes and new harness. His gears are sacred and to be able to hold them is divine. I may be sort of exaggerating but not really; these things are precious to him exactly like their prices. His carabiners, cams, quickdraws, and ropes are his babies, you may buy him one and you’d see how his face would light up like a kiddie.
You gotta take note of that ladies!
10. He’s always at risk
Climbing is a dangerous sport, so your human is at risk. You will never get used to it, seeing him liking the adrenaline the climbing brings. Your heart beat would never be in a normal rate, and all you could do is to hold your breath as you hold onto your faith, while you see him climb all the way up from that rock’s base.
11. He foresees the beta – but not really your future, not yet.
A climber does not only climb rocks, he has an unconditional and extraordinary love for their slopes, slabs, and edges. So if you happen to fall in love with him, you gotta prepare to share his love with the earth’s surface. He’s a live-in-the-moment kind of dude. So even if commitment is one of the techniques in order to finish a route, your climber might not be able to live by the word when it comes to you. So it’s all up to you. He probably has no plans for now, but for all you know, maybe he’s worth the try and your time?
12. He’ll rock your world
And it will never be the same again. They said that climbers got a heart as hard as a rock, but for all you know he’s got the warmest and most fragile heart. Get involved with a climber and you will never look at those walls and rocks in the same way again. This rock climber will rock your world and you might end up breaking the rule, so you gotta be careful. You might end up falling deeply in love with a rock climber, after all.
Photo Credit to: Jaime Uy Jr.
About the writer:
Adah Grace Dela Cruz is a young teacher-writer-wanderess from the Philippines. She has started hiking and traveling in 2012. She blends her passion to travel with her love for slopes and ridges. She had climbed over 60 mountains in the Philippine islands and visited 31 provinces before moving to Thailand in April 2017. She’s consumed by all things pertaining to places, people, culture, and words. Follow her adventures on Instagram @pinaywanderess and like her on Facebook.