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What They Didn’t Tell Us About Happiness (3)

What They Didn’t Tell Us About Happiness

Chase happiness, they said. So we all grew up looking forward to such an intangible idea. We don’t exactly know what happiness looks like; we just know somehow how it feels.  When I was a kid, happiness was seeing mama come home at night. Now, it has become the very essence of taking this ultimate journey of my life.

But you know what they didn’t tell us about happiness? It is the thought that we should create it and own it. We falsely think that there’s an ultimate singular form of being happy, but there’s really none. What makes me happy does not necessarily put a smile on your lips and what makes you jump for joy might not have the same effect on me.

I know that it’s kind of frustrating on how there can be no one ultimate standard of happiness since everyone pursues it, desires it, and thrives for it. And we’d be all like, how can we really be happy? Is there one formula to achieve? Honey, there is none. No has figured it out and no one will figure it out for you but yourself. And that’s the beauty of happiness being relative, because you can create it, modify it, and make it to how exactly you want it. You can own it in such a way that no one can ever take it away from you.

Growing up in a broken family, I used to depend my happiness on people around me. I would hoard all the happiness I got. I would put it in a glass jar, my happiness jar, and I would hand it over to any person I like or with anyone whom could keep it well – or at least I thought. Then my glass jar always ended up breaking or missing, and then I’d feel unhappy again. It’s only today that I have embarked on this huge journey of chasing my dreams, that I came to realize that I should never ever hand my happiness glass jar over to anyone; that I should be the one keeping it and holding it, because it is mine.

It took me gazillions of unhappy feelings before realizing that happiness is inside you. It took me much awful heartbreak, severe disappointments, and breaking down moments; before I learned that it should be there in you, buried in every corner of your soul, and in every inch of your bone. It shall never lie on anyone, but you.

So when you’re having those days when you’d feel like you’re losing your happiness, when you feel like you’re missing the happiness in you, take it back to whomever you handed it to. Take it back, because it is yours. And never ever hand it over again, guard it with all your heart.

Darling, your happiness is yours, and it is as just unique and as beautiful as you are. No matter how tiny or huge that is, no matter what that form and it comes, it does not matter. What matters is that you have found something that lights up every piece of your being and fuels up your spirit in this lifetime, and that it is your very own. 

Whatever the universe throws at you, may you always choose to create your happiness!


About the writer:

She is a young teacher-writer-wanderess from the Philippines. She blends her passion to touch lives with her lust to wander and with her love for life. She’s consumed by all things pertaining to places, people, culture, and words. Follow her adventures on Instagram@pinaywanderess and on Facebook.


  • cj
    October 30, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    A decade ago, our father left us. Obviously, for a 13-year old me, it was very painful. My teenage years were spent mostly on surviving than living. Since then, I’ve always asked myself, “when will I be happy?”. I thought that when I graduate college or land a job, I would be happy. Everytime that I thought I was being successful, I always doubted if the happiness that I was feeling was even real. There’s always that missing piece that I couldn’t find and there’s a feeling of me that I have to look for it. =( Now, how can I take back the happiness that I don’t even have? Will I ever be happy, for real?

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